Fat Girl Slim

This week, well for a while now I have been on a diet i have lost 19lb Whoop whoop :) but his week I thought I would up my game abit so I started walking to the station in the mornings and on the way home I have been doing palates and yesterday I walked up 9 flights of stairs to the top of the building I have been working on to see the specular views of london it was such a shame it was a gray miserable day.
So I have cut back on eating the normal crap and instead eating alot less, it was going really well until wednesday. I was walking along to the station with my husband and I started to shake and feel faint, so he took me straight to subway and got me some food now heres where it gets weird I started to eat and then I blanked out, I remember nothing for about 4mins according to Husband I ate very fast then stood up with a glazed look and lit a ciggy in the shop then he said loudly "what are you doing" and that brought me round and I got out of there fast.
I have never had anything like this happen to me before. very strange
Well the rest of the week went ok I had detox head aches and felt rough through out it but its done now and I am 5lb lighter. yay!!
I am trying to work out a diet goal for next week not to sure yet maybe something to do with water intake as mine is was to low
This as you may have guessed is all in aid of looking hot on my birthday still a longway to go but im hopeful :)

http://www.3fatchicks.com this website has been a great help and the ladies on there are so lovely and helpful its great. If you are looking at going on a diet have a read of this site

Great Expectations

Reality divided by expectations = Happiness

Now I live in a dream world and my expectations are high, so this could be a big clue to why I am not the happiest of people.
So with turning 30 the expectations for the day are

• Wake up to Champers and fresh fruit
• Go to a spa for the morning and get pampered 
• Lunch in a lovely little country pub with my man, the children and my Dad 
• Get dressed with my girls (me being a size 10 by then) in designer dresses 
• Go to a hot trendy bar (getting asked for ID) 

The Reality

• Wake up way to early to my youngest holding my card and present
• Toast and a cup of tea 
• Lunch with the above maybe just the same as long as Dad don't get stuck in traffic for hours 
• Get dressed in high street clothes size unknown at this time 
• BBQ in the back garden with family and friends 

It will be a lovely day and I will spend time with the people I love, its just so scary that now I am older and I have to do more grown up things. I maybe worrying about the days its self way to much and it is still 5ish months away.

In theory if I lower my expectations I will be happier, but you know I don't want to. I like the chase to have more, be better and get just what I want. I am worried that I will be unhappy as life is never what you want it to be.

Things at the moment are not great to be honest, not just the age stressed but other things and it really is to high expectations and the age old story I am not getting what I want. It will drive me completely mental in the end but I cant find away of want realistic things.

Last week I had to go and visit a client in Knightsbridge, I had to walk past some of the most beautiful and expensive shops in the UK. I was in heaven. Standing outside Dior looking lovingly at the latest purple quilted handbag (and just being paid) I thought about buying it. My mobile phone rang with husband telling me to keep walking.
Just for a second I was happy, I had slipped into my dream land and I had the money to get the bag and maybe slip in to louis V across the road, but the sad truth is even after just getting paid I still didnt have the £1200 for the bag after I had paid the rent and I am a little scared of the staff in LV even with my LV purse in hand.

So where does it end would i be happy if I could shop in these shops everyday?... more then likely not as there is always something more.............