Another one bites the dust!

Sorry darlings I havent posted for a while i have had a lot on.
My main news is that I have completed one of my before 30 targets.
I got offered a job this week that will move me in to the super tax bracket (Crap i hate tax) but it was one of my aims.
So now I am going to have to work my arse off, travel longer to get to work but I finally feel I am making progress and I am going to uni as part of this job so that TWO things of my list :)

So to recap I have
Got married
Had children
Had a 3sum (well you got to try it once)
Going to Uni
Getting paid over £35k

Still got to
Learn to drive
do some charity work
Get down to a dress size 10
Get on a long haul flight and not freak out (and get home in the same way)
Tell my boss to stick his fucking crap job (watch this space)
Give up smoking

I am quite excited at the moment life is good and I am feeling positive about my age.

For all my girls that have made it to 30 before me, you did it so well and I am hoping I can do it just like you girls


M XXX

Fat Girl Slim

This week, well for a while now I have been on a diet i have lost 19lb Whoop whoop :) but his week I thought I would up my game abit so I started walking to the station in the mornings and on the way home I have been doing palates and yesterday I walked up 9 flights of stairs to the top of the building I have been working on to see the specular views of london it was such a shame it was a gray miserable day.
So I have cut back on eating the normal crap and instead eating alot less, it was going really well until wednesday. I was walking along to the station with my husband and I started to shake and feel faint, so he took me straight to subway and got me some food now heres where it gets weird I started to eat and then I blanked out, I remember nothing for about 4mins according to Husband I ate very fast then stood up with a glazed look and lit a ciggy in the shop then he said loudly "what are you doing" and that brought me round and I got out of there fast.
I have never had anything like this happen to me before. very strange
Well the rest of the week went ok I had detox head aches and felt rough through out it but its done now and I am 5lb lighter. yay!!
I am trying to work out a diet goal for next week not to sure yet maybe something to do with water intake as mine is was to low
This as you may have guessed is all in aid of looking hot on my birthday still a longway to go but im hopeful :)

http://www.3fatchicks.com this website has been a great help and the ladies on there are so lovely and helpful its great. If you are looking at going on a diet have a read of this site

Great Expectations

Reality divided by expectations = Happiness

Now I live in a dream world and my expectations are high, so this could be a big clue to why I am not the happiest of people.
So with turning 30 the expectations for the day are

• Wake up to Champers and fresh fruit
• Go to a spa for the morning and get pampered 
• Lunch in a lovely little country pub with my man, the children and my Dad 
• Get dressed with my girls (me being a size 10 by then) in designer dresses 
• Go to a hot trendy bar (getting asked for ID) 

The Reality

• Wake up way to early to my youngest holding my card and present
• Toast and a cup of tea 
• Lunch with the above maybe just the same as long as Dad don't get stuck in traffic for hours 
• Get dressed in high street clothes size unknown at this time 
• BBQ in the back garden with family and friends 

It will be a lovely day and I will spend time with the people I love, its just so scary that now I am older and I have to do more grown up things. I maybe worrying about the days its self way to much and it is still 5ish months away.

In theory if I lower my expectations I will be happier, but you know I don't want to. I like the chase to have more, be better and get just what I want. I am worried that I will be unhappy as life is never what you want it to be.

Things at the moment are not great to be honest, not just the age stressed but other things and it really is to high expectations and the age old story I am not getting what I want. It will drive me completely mental in the end but I cant find away of want realistic things.

Last week I had to go and visit a client in Knightsbridge, I had to walk past some of the most beautiful and expensive shops in the UK. I was in heaven. Standing outside Dior looking lovingly at the latest purple quilted handbag (and just being paid) I thought about buying it. My mobile phone rang with husband telling me to keep walking.
Just for a second I was happy, I had slipped into my dream land and I had the money to get the bag and maybe slip in to louis V across the road, but the sad truth is even after just getting paid I still didnt have the £1200 for the bag after I had paid the rent and I am a little scared of the staff in LV even with my LV purse in hand.

So where does it end would i be happy if I could shop in these shops everyday?... more then likely not as there is always something more.............

18 - 30's

I herd a fantastic quip today

" to old for 18-30.... you young for SAGA"

now i have never been on an 18-30's holiday mainly due to having children young or being in a relationship  and i feel i have missed out, the last holiday i went on was a girls holiday for a weekend in Italy with my husbands mother and grandmother, as much as i loved the sights and Italy is a fantastic place to go, his grand mother even drank me under the table on the last night ~I felt i had missed out on the girlie holiday. I have been thinking about squeezing one in before i hit 30 but im sure i will stand out as the old girl by miles.
I am not one for family holidays I do take the girls away for a week once a year but its no holiday for me, so what do i do???? i must admit the SAGA holidays look so good and relaxing but i just cant until i am ALOT older

Also my best friend turns 30 in the coming week and I plan to act like a teenager with her on Saturday in my home town so massively looking forward to that and I hope she has a fab time (i plan to do my best honey to make it a good one)

Lots of party's this week and lot of research I will post my findings soon........

Feeling the Strain

Dont know what has done it today but my stress levels are so high i can feel the anger under my skin. I am not normally like this I think its something to do with the hormone injection I had during the week, mixed with PMT its just got all to much.
So having a glass of wine to chill out before I make some huge mistakes.
Things on the Vine have not been great this week form start to finish I have been stressed men in general seams to be the problem. my husband just wants to feed me so all my dieting has gone to shit this weekend, things will be rectified next week.
My male friends who have just been a pain in the arse this week then my brothers forgetting my daughters birthday. I'm not loving men today, they have time to make it up but its a small window and time is passing quickly!

My 30 digging was interesting this week i spoke with my male friends all over 30 seamed not to have an issue with when they turned 30. 40 yes but 30 was not an issue for them. so why so difficult for us lovely ladies then?

I quote
“Thirty is the tipping point of aging. You don’t look much different than you did seven years ago, but the next three to five years are critical.”
This sent me into shock I still do look young and love when the school kid in Sainsburys asks me for ID when buying ciggys and wine..... who under 21 buys 40 B&H and a £15 bottle of red?
Anyway I have been looking into skin care for the over 30. the key my friends is drinking water but we all know this and to be honest I can never stick to 2 litters a day the odd glass when the air-con at work drys me out or when hung over so i am going to try with some effort this time to achieve a bigger intake.
I use only a facewash and baby lotion on my face, i have never really had bad skin so i have not been to worried, well according to EVERYONE inc the lovely ladies in Debanhams on the beauty counter thinks this is awful and as i get to 30 i need anti ageing creams and so forth. They cost the earth and some products include 30mins in the morning taking off and then adding more cream then splashing water on your face 20 times at a curtain temp... like any off us really has time for this at 5:30am

So please ladies let me know what you do and what you recommend. I am trying all new creams this week I am with clinic and IF my little line disapear I will let you know, I think the added stress of this week has added a few more though.
  

The 1st Friday of the Year

Normally I love Fridays, a few drinks after work then off out with my friends, but not tonight as it's January I am on a diet (well I was on one before) but anyway xmas has just gone and I am skint but I look at my children's nice new shiny things and their happy slightly spoilt faces and it was so worth it.

So I am at home the TV is crap and to make things worse I am doing some work which doesn't feel good after a 10 hour stint in the office. I defiantly feel my age today!

The good think about having a mega busy day is that I have not had time to ponder or panic about the big three zero 

Thank you to all my lovely ladies who have been sending me their thoughts and experiences

I found a 8 things to do before you are 30

http://www.kiplinger.com/columns/starting/archive/2005/st0811.htm

its more about money then what I am about but then again what isnt about money

I thought I had covered 1 of these but I thinking about it Travelling with your dad isnt quite the same as going it alone :)  

  

Acceptance... maybe not

It happens to us all we age. I'm coming out of my 20's in 7 months time and I cant deal with it...

So this is how it all started.......
New years eve I was thinking about the year ahead as this year has been a a bitch and it dawned on me I will be 30 in July, my heart started to beat to fast and my chest constricted, the panic had well and truly set in.
I have only completed 2 of my things to do before 30 list

• Getting married 
• Having Children

and not in that order! So much I planned to do but never had the time or money to do it with, I feel like time as passed me by.
I dont feel old, well only at 6am when I wake up and have to face a 2 hour commute to work in deepest darkest winter. I still think and occasionally act like I did at 18, but the thought of my 3rd decade on earth freaks the hell out of me.

I started looking this up on line at I thought 30 was to young to feel completely washed out and out of love with life and I found some amazing stories and articles on this matter, I was not alone its seams that a lot of women go though this and its been branded "the female midlife crisis at 30"
So i am going to publicly share with you all my last few moths of my 20's, the tears the (manic) laughter, lots of red wine and hopefully at the end of this some kind of acceptance of my age.

Please feel free to join in with me if your at this sensitive age, or ladies if you have gotten past this stage all comments welcome